The rest of the story....

I was certain God could pull it off.  My dad could pretty much convince anyone to do just about anything, so I felt pretty good about my chances.

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It didn’t happen. 

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Almost a year had passed, and grief still had a strong hold on me.  I couldn’t look at old pictures, I couldn’t say my dad’s name, and I didn’t even want people to talk about him in front of me.  It was like time stood still and I was completely frozen in grief.  Self-doubt, self-pity, and resentment started to creep in.  I felt like I was the only person on earth who was denied their basic rights to receive a sign exactly the way they wanted it.  I felt like a failure. I should have just settled for the penny.  

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As my grief began to control my every thought, I knew it was time to do something.  My dad’s initials weren’t going to magically appear in the clouds, and I needed to accept that.  So, I took matters into my own hands and put his initials on a painting I was working on at the time. The painting has yet to be finished, but his initials are loud and clear. (see painting below)

 

Then it happened.  Finally.

No, it wasn’t the clouds.

 

The very next morning I got up to start my day, still grieving but doing better.  For the first time in a long time, I felt a little lighter. That’s when it happened.  I heard his voice as though he was standing right in front of me. 

 

 “Keep your chin up, kid”.

 

I started sobbing with relief and suddenly felt the weight lift off my shoulders.  It was the lightning bolt I had been waiting for.  It wasn’t in the clouds or a random penny, and it definitely wasn’t a coincidence.  It was his unmistakable, left nothing to chance, words.  The sacred words I thought were gone forever.  The comfort that came with them that I thought I would never feel again.  It was my sign. It was GK.

 

My brain was back open for business and my heart open to healing. My ideas for the foundation came rushing in as though someone opened the floodgates… and then, all at once, it clicked… GK Legacy and the Keep Your Chin Up Scholarship. 

 

Now I can clearly see my dad’s hands in everything we do.  Every email we send, every application we receive, every award we grant, and every decision that shapes this foundation. He’s not just watching over us, he’s leading us in a direction we could have never found otherwise.

 

It took a little time to get myself back on track, but I learned valuable lessons along the way. Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns to get things done, and sometimes you just need to get out of your own way so things can unfold like they’re meant to.

 

But the most important lesson I learned… don’t trust the damn clouds.

 

Keep your chin up,

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Peggy Baze

Founder/CEO